As an adult and a mother, family is a lot of things. Family is my fiance, me, and my son. Family is my mother and stepfather. Family is my father, his brothers, my cousins, and my aunt. Family is big and messy. My family is messy as well. Today, I spent the entire day with different family members. This morning, I went shopping with my mother and baby. This afternoon, I went shopping and to a late lunch with my father who is in town from New York.
My family is splintered. My father was never around much and now comes every year once or twice to visit. I used to think that meant he didn’t love me. But he does in his own way. My mom worked hard all her life to provide for me and take care of me which I appreciate. Family means alot because she taught me that. But what about the family that isn’t blood related? The family that doesn’t typically cause your anxiety to shoot upwards and make you want to scream at times?
I believe family is more than blood. It’s those you decide to surround yourself with. It’s the people you turn to when you need help or a shoulder to cry on. Or even someone to drink a glass of wine with. Family is the people who will sit on the phone with you while you drive all the way home in the rain listening to your road rage. It’s the people who will tell you that you do look fat in that dress. It’s the family that knows exactly how to calm you down in the middle of a panic attack and the ones who understand your depression. Family is the one that doesn’t need words to know how to help you.
We all need family. Family of the blood relation and family of the friend relation. We all need support and love from people around us. Today, I chose to surround myself with family of the blood relation. But this past thursday evening, I spent it with my sorority little eating pizza and watching her study for a test. They say you can’t choose your family, but I believe you can. It all depends on how you define family.
Who’s your family?