Mental Health

My mental health has been a rollercoster lately. I haven’t been feeling very healthy mentally or emotionally. Work was tiring and trying and when I walked through the door, I knew I wouldn’t be touching the stuff I brought home to do. Instead, I cooked dinner while my fiancé got ready and left for work. I plated my food and put the rest in the fridge for him for when he got home from work. Then I sat myself on my bed with my food and a glass of mountain Dew and put NCIS on while I ate.

That was only the first things I decided to do when I got home. By cooking, I took my mind off of the feelings of anxiety I felt lingering from work. I made sure to put on a show I enjoy while I ate so that I could relax. I made the conscious decision that this night was going to be about taking care of me. That was Monday night. I made a plan that I would shower and relax and play with my baby. Then I decided to opt against working long hours this week instead planning on leaving on time every day this week.

Anxiety takes everything out of a person. It prevents me from accomplishing even small things. When I feel it coming on, I know I have to take action. I distract myself. Teach myself something, do something I enjoy, eat, or talk to someone. I find something to attempt to keep myself from wallowing in the anxiety because I’ve found my anxiety can be handled if I catch it right away.

But what if I don’t catch it?

I sit in a ball and rock back and forth. Literally. Or I stare at the wall. And I cry. I cry and cry and cry. I get nothing done and it takes hours to recover. It’s difficult for me to breathe. So as time passes, I’ve learned how to recognize the warning signs and identify my feelings to prevent the worst. I don’t always succeed though and that’s ok.

Sometimes, we need to stare at the wall doing nothing. Sometimes, it’s ok to accomplish nothing. We are human. We aren’t always productive, and we are definitely not perfect. All we can do is try.

What does your mental health look like and what are you doing to work on it?

9 thoughts on “Mental Health

  1. It is very courageous of you to talk about your mental health. Kudos to you!
    Knowing the signs of depression and knowing coping skills should be taught in schools. The classes on health seem to concentrate on reproduction and not so much on your emotional well-being. I hope that you continue to use your coping skills. I am always here with a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear if you just need to talk it out. 🙂


    S.E.Isaac

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I have been trying to educate others on mental health and illnesses. I grew up in the era of ‘shhhh. don’t tell anyone. they’ll think you are crazy!” Well, you know what? So be it. I am who I am. I have had severe depression since I was 7. My parents knew it, but didn’t want to admit it (or maybe they were oblivious ). Due to that depression not being treated (therapy, medication, etc.), I felt withdrawn from the world and decided that I was worthless & didn’t deserve to live. See where I am going with this? So, yes, mental health and illness education needs to be blasted on social media, media mainstream, billboards, the works.

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  2. Ahhh…. do the DEW!

    I’m sure your little one needed the play time as much as you did 🙂

    Down time is a necessity. I am Jewish so 1 day a week I get a full 24 hrs of work free, electronic free, down time. I’m not sure how others go months without a single day of time for themselves.

    I am an avid listener to the Tim Ferriss podcast and he just released a mind blowing episode, interviewing Dr. Gabor Mate. Dr. Mate speaks about mental health in general but especially involving addictions. He comes with a very unique approach.

    May you have only good health, mental and physical.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Being one of the many who used to go months without day or time for myself, it is not fun. At all. I’ve learned to force myself to take a break! And that sounds like an interesting podcast! I used to listen to some podcasts but over time dwindled on that.
      Thank you!

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  3. Love your post. It’s so important to talk about mental health!! Me time is my solution for my days filled with anxiety and low points of depression. Watching funny shows, painting, coloring, reading, yoga, meditation and even running (hate it, but it helps). Keep on going and know you are not alone 😘

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can’t tell you what it looks like but I can tell you what it feels like: broken. It feels like something breaks, a part of you, an aspect of you won’t let the rest of you function. Out of this comes the doubt and the anxiety – especially when you can’t identify the trigger. I started off by describing it as darkness falling on you but that isn’t right. It isn’t darkness, you can still do things when it is dark. When you are broken, that’s when you stop being able to “be”.

    I really appreciate you blog. I appreciate the way you’re bringing this discussion up and out for others to engage with and seek some for of understanding in. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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