Overwhelmed, Sad, and more.

Lately, I’ve been super focused on work. So much so that as I write this article, I’m doing online training I have due by this Saturday. Every day I work hard to try to catch up and get organized. I bring what I can home and do it. I do my online training at home when the baby is occupied. But I’ve put off everything else.

I’ve reached a point that I can’t do it anymore especially with what time of year it is. Therefore, I took this Monday off work. Until then, I’ll work hard and long to get where I need to be. It’s difficult to do anything I enjoy though. I’m so sad and hurting that it’s easier to bury myself in work.

Why is it easier to bury myself in work? It’s easier because I don’t like to think about what is really bothering me which is Monday being the anniversary of my stepdad’s death. My stepfather was my daddy. He raised me as his own and treated me like a princess. He supported me in everything I attempted. This just makes Monday all that much harder. I lost the man who believed in me  and taught me confidence. He didn’t get to see me graduate high school or college, he wasn’t there for my 21st birthday, or the birth of my son.

So yes, I’ll bury myself in work until I no longer can. Then, I’ll burrow under my covers and cry. And then on Monday, I’ll go do some self-care getting a much needed haircut. I’ll cuddle in bed with my son and my fiancé. I won’t look at work things. I’ll hide from most of the world.

Then on Tuesday, I’ll walk back into work with my head held high and get back to work (more training since Tuesday we have an all day training…UGH).

 

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My Fiance and I. I’m wearing the necklace my mom had made for me out of the diamonds from the engagement and wedding rings my stepdad gave her.

 

 

2 thoughts on “Overwhelmed, Sad, and more.

  1. Awww! Alley Cat! I wish I lived near you.

    Your stepdad sounds like an amazing man. I am sorry for his passing. As you know, he was looking down on all of your milestones and accomplishments & smiling because his little princess did it. Focus on the beautiful things that you shared with him. Monday will still have tears, but try to make them tears of memories and love. Not tears of sadness and pain.

    Hang in there, Alley Cat. XoXo

    Liked by 1 person

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