In May, I started going to counseling for my mental health. I know I’ve talked about that before on here. Well, I finally saw the psychiatrist and was prescribed medication for my severe anxiety. When I first went to the psychiatrist, I thought like my counseling intake appointment, I would be shaking someone’s hands and talking to a person face to face. However, that is not what happened. Instead, the lady at the front desk (I believe her name is Betsey) led me to a room with a computer in it. Yep, the psychiatrist is telemed and over a webcam. It was the most awkward fifteen minutes of my life. First of all, I couldn’t believe it only took fifteen minutes. Second of all, I couldn’t figure out whether to just stare at the webcam or his face. I found myself scratching anxiously at my arms and legs because my anxiety was rising. He suggested medication and CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) meaning he wanted me to take medication for my anxiety as well as going to bi-weekly counseling. As for my counseling, I got used to my counselor and really liked her. Once I brought my insurance card in, all that changed though. Due to her not being fully licensed, my insurance wouldn’t cover her which meant I had to switch to a fully licensed therapist. I just recently had my first appointment with her, and I’m not sure I like her. I’ve decided to give her more of a chance though and have my second appointment with her on the 12th. I used to think that I was alone in dealing with the anxiety and the depression. I used to think that counseling and therapy couldn’t possibly help me. I used to think that dreading every day was normal. It’s not normal. When I finally decided to get help, I started realizing that living like that was abnormal and unnecessary. I recognized that my thinking about receiving counseling was twisted (even though I am a counselor and maybe due to being a counselor, I felt like I should be stronger and not need help).
As for how I am currently? I’m slowly improving. I’m nowhere near perfect or 100%, but I’m on the pathway up instead of down now. I don’t dread every day nearly as much (just every other day haha). I’m learning how to recognize my irrational thoughts. And I was able to get laundry down which is something I hadn’t done in months! So overall, I would say I’m doing better.
What about you? Where are you on your mental health journey?