The Meltdown

Sunday, I had an all consuming, complete and utter meltdown. Like screaming at the top of my lungs, sobbing hysterically, the world is coming to an end meltdown. Over my son’s hair.

Yep, you read that right. Over. My. Son’s. Hair.

Of course, I could tell you it was the build up of a million little things and that was the thing that broke the camel’s back so to speak. However, what set off this massive meltdown that rendered me useless for the rest of the day was having to cut/shave my son’s hair due to a lice infestation he got from the daycare.

I could tell you that the little things that built up to that moment were two weeks of forgetting to take my mental health medications, stress at work, stress about an interview, small arguments with my significant other, and feeling disgusting in my own body. All which is the truth.

I could also make all the excuses in the world to rationalize away my behavior and my mental health as if it’s no big deal….BUT IT IS A BIG DEAL.

It’s a very big deal. Mental health doesn’t just go away. It doesn’t show itself over the big things or the rational things. In fact, the very description of anxiety disorders is the mind turning small things into world is ending problems.

I spent the rest of Sunday in a funk. I didn’t want to do anything. All I wanted to do was lay around and mope. However, my fiancé made me go out. He took me to get my nails done, then to the park with our son. He bought me cannoli and candy corn, and water. Then he took me home letting me nap and sleep the rest of the night.

Addressing mental health is a big problem. Most people don’t have what I have. They don’t have the support. Most are afraid to talk about these big meltdowns because it makes one seem weak. But having meltdowns doesn’t make a person weak. I am not a weak person because I can’t cope like everyone else. Neither are you.

Now I sit here the day after typing this article up with my nails done and decent sleep recognizing that I’m luckier than most. However, anyone can be this lucky. It’s about everyone beginning to talk about their worst times with mental health. Once we can all have open discussions about what the worst looks like, we can start helping each other. We can start making a difference.

Do me a favor: tell me what your worst looks like. Then go share your worst and this article with EVERYONE you know.

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